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Get More Readers! Cut These Words Out of Your Writing

January 23, 2017 by Dennis Fischman Leave a Comment

cut out bloated wordsPeople’s time is scarce, and their attention is precious. If you want to get your audience to read your emails, newsletters, posts, etc., then follow Jill Konrath‘s advice and cut the following words out of your writing.

They fall into three categories.

Self-Promoting Puffery

  1. One-stop shopping
  2. Industry leader
  3. Breakthrough
  4. Partner
  5. Groundbreaking
  6. Impressive
  7. Unique
  8. Innovative
  9. State-of-the-art
  10. Powerful
  11. Outstanding
  12. Cost-effective
  13. Experienced
  14. Number one
  15. Premier

Technical tripe

  1. Next-generation
  2. Disruptive
  3. Flexible
  4. Robust
  5. World-class
  6. Easy-to-use
  7. Cutting-edge
  8. Value-added
  9. Mission-critical
  10. Leading-edge
  11. Turnkey
  12. Best-of-breed
  13. Enterprise-class
  14. User-friendly
  15. Scalable

Creative Crap

  1. Outside the box
  2. Revolutionary
  3. The big idea
  4. Synergy
  5. Dramatic
  6. Strategic
  7. Game changer
  8. Customer-centric
  9. Voice of the customer
  10. Critical mass
  11. Buzz
  12. Make it pop
  13. Break through the clutter
  14. Next level
  15. Impactful

Jill has given us a good list of the jargon that annoys people in business. What would you add to her list?  What are some of the cliches, buzzwords, and overused terms you see in the nonprofit sector?

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Marketing that Loses Points with the Audience

July 20, 2015 by Dennis Fischman 1 Comment

My dear wife Rona often receives bad marketing pitches, but this one takes the cake. Firebox.com advertises lights in the form of Scrabble tiles, and here’s how it describes them:

  • “Way less boring than the board game”
  • “Includes 60 reusable letter stickers. That’s roughly 5 swear words worth”
  • “Will fool people into thinking you’re a bonafide [sic] wordsmith”
Scrabble lights

Negative points for insulting Scrabble!

Rona and I take this personally! We met over a game of Scrabble. (She beat me by 120 points, but I’ve learned her secrets since then.)

We don’t find the board game boring. We host a neighborhood Scrabble game every month.

We don’t have to “fool people.” We are bona fide wordsmiths–the kind who know that “bona fide” is two words, and what it means!

Okay, I get it: this company wants to be edgy. They advertise themselves as “not for everyone.” They may not be for me. But what’s the point of insulting the  people who are most likely to buy your product?

You Can Do Better Than That!

You can learn from bad marketers. You can learn how to do better. Whether you are marketing a product or a service (and whether you’re commercial or nonprofit), take another look at the message you’re sending.

This time, forget what you like. Think about your audience.

If they find it insulting–or even just puzzling–it doesn’t matter how clever or creative you thought you were being. You’re losing points with the people whose opinions matter. Keep your audience in mind, and you can play to win.

 

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You Can Make Me Glad I Saw Your Ad

January 14, 2014 by Dennis Fischman Leave a Comment

When I watched the video “The Power of Words,” I cried.  Then I shared it on Facebook and Twitter.  A lot of the 18 million people who saw the video did the same. And it’s an ad!

How did Purple Feather make me and millions of other people around the world say, “Thank you, I’m glad I saw that”?  They used the principles of content marketing.  They gave the people what we want.

People like stories.  In a minute and forty-eight seconds, “The Power of Words” tells a complete story–one that includes a triumph at the end.

People identify with characters.  When you watched the video, did you identify with the blind man, the young woman, or the people who at first passed him by and then stopped to give generously?  Or, like me, did you identify with all of them?

People want to feel.  At the end of the video, I hadn’t done anything, right?  I only sat in my chair and looked at the screen.  Yet I felt as if I had been though something life-changing.

People are curious.  When the blind man asked the young woman, “What did you do to my sign?”, I was leaning forward in my seat to find out the answer.

People get it.  When the young woman answered, “I said the same thing, in different words,” and her rewrite of the sign came onto the screen, no one needed to sell me on Purple Feather.  They showed me the power of words.

I felt in my body how big a difference they might be able to make.

I wanted to thank them…and hire them.

And because I do communications, I wanted to write something as powerful as they had.  I hope I will.  I hope I do.

Let’s share some other examples.  What marketing message have you read or seen that made you glad you’d seen it?

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