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Fundraising Tuesday: The Last Words Shall Be First

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P.S. postscriptMore than 100 appeal letters arrived at the Fischman household last November and December. About two-thirds of them came feet first.

By that I mean that, like your donors, I read the postscript right away.

The p.s. is one of the first things donors read after we open the envelope–probably right after checking to see whether you call your donors by our names. You will make more money if you get the postscript right.

So, how do you write a postscript your donors will love?

Include a Postscript

sad news, happy newsThe sad news is that 37 appeal letters didn’t include any postscript at all.

True, some of them were in a format that didn’t look like a letter. It’s hard to put a p.s. on a report or a sheet of coupons. (That may be a reason not to use those formats very often!)

But many of those 37 were classic appeal letters that came to the signature line and just ended. That’s sad–for the senders.

For your nonprofit, the happy news: it may have given your letter the chance to be noticed. If you used a postscript, good for you!

Make It Urgent

More than 30 letters used their p.s. to stress the reason for giving now.

I was glad to see that none of them said “so we can meet our goal”–that’s your reason to write, not their reason to give. None of them mentioned tax-deductibility, and that’s good: it’s not the reason most people give either.

Most of the time, nonprofits used the postscript to do one of two things:

  • Simply urge the donor not to wait (stressing how easy it is to give online), or,
  • Reiterate the reason to give. “Immigrant families are waiting to find out whether they will be deported. Help them get the legal help they need, today!”

The very best examples made the postscript into a story in brief. They referred back to the clients whose stories they told in the body of the letter and reminded donors, “You can be their hero.”

Experiment with a Call To Action

act nowMostly I advise nonprofits to keep the postscript simple. Ask people to do just one thing: give money. But 18 of the appeal letters I saw this year asked for an additional action.

Some of them requested the donor take steps to make their donation worth more, like “Check if your employer will match your donation.” Others suggested the donor take another action besides giving: fill in a survey, pick a design for a membership card, alert the organization when ICE was in the area.

I’m curious: did your nonprofit try an additional Call To Action in the postscript to your appeal letter? What was the response like? Did people who took that extra step give extra money?

 

Fundraising Tuesday: Last Things First

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Every Tuesday this season, I’m offering a tip on how to write better fundraising appeals. The first post was Call Me By Name.

postscriptBesides getting the donor’s name right, what’s the easiest thing you can do to increase the chance they will give?

Answer: write a good postscript.

 

The P.S. Matters as Much as the Letter

The National Mail Order Association says:

79% of all people who open your direct mail will read the P.S. first. Before reading anything else in the letter. Or any other part of the mail package.

And in fact, if you don’t catch the donor’s eye with your salutation, your postscript, and your photos, you might as well not send the letter at all. Into the recycling it goes.

This may seem harsh. It does to me. I’m a writer by nature, practice, and inclination. Looking for the right word feels something like meditation, where I let meaning float to the surface….and something like a wine tasting, where I savor each word on the tongue. How can my writing not matter to the reader?

The simple truth is that nothing we write matters if no one reads it. And the postscript is one of the most important tools we have for getting the donor to read the letter.

What to Put in a Postscript

Because the P.S. is the first (and sometimes the only) part of a letter that readers read, it is not a throwaway line. In fact, you should use it to make your main point clear.

One of my favorite approaches is to summarize the appeal in a few short words and then call for action.

Look at the example from the Clinton campaign above. “Stop the GOP power grab” was the theme of the letter, and here it is again, baldly stated, in a few words. “Respond by July 30” tells the reader what action he or she can take.

Other experts, like the late Ray Jutkins, say to emphasize “the special something they will get when they respond.” That might be the premium you are offering them for giving, or (as in the Clinton letter) the chance to see their donation matched. For a nonprofit, it can be a cogent statement  of the difference their donation will make.

What’s more, the P.S. can be used to repeat your telephone and fax numbers, physical address, e-mail and Web site. It’s almost impossible to restate your vital contact data too often, Jutkins says.

What NOT to Put in Your Postscript

“The primary thing not to do with your P.S. is state a new fact, introduce a new idea or start fresh with a different thought,” Jutkins cautions.

Why not? Because it just confuses the reader.If they read the postscript first and then find the letter is about something different, they think, “What is this nonprofit really trying to say?”

Remember how many pieces of mail we all get. I received 90 fundraising appeal letters between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, just myself. All 90 0f them were competing for the reader’s attention. A postscript that confuses the reader ensures the letter winds up in the recycling bin.

A postscript that moves the reader and makes her want to read the rest of the letter: now, that’s the last word in fundraising.

Fundraising Letters HAVE to Improve in 2016!

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Fundraising lettersSince Thanksgiving, I have received 90 fundraising appeals through the mail. I spent a morning looking through each and every one of them.

Friends, we have to do better.

7 Reasons You’re Not Getting Enough Donations (and what you can do about it)

1) You’re starting your letter “Dear Friend.”  32 out of 90 letters I received called me Friend or Supporter–or didn’t call me anything at all.  Wrong!

As fundraising expert Gail Perry says, “Your donor expects that you know her name and who she is, since she’s been sending you money for a while!”  Fix this by using a good database and adding a First Name mail merge field to your appeal letter.

2) You’re mainly talking about your organization. 47 out of 90 letters were in French: they said “we, we, we.” But that’s making your organization the hero of the story!

As Seth Godin has pointed out, in a good appeal letter, the donor is the hero of the story.  That’s why they give. Fix this by talking about how the donors are helping to right wrongs, save lives, or help people.

3) You’re not telling an “impact story.”  There are six types of stories that nonprofits should tell. In your appeal letter, you should tell an impact story, showing how the donors’ contribution makes a difference.  41 out of the 90 letters I received told just the facts, ma’am. Another 29 included a brief quotation from a client, or a general anecdote about a client, and how the agency helped them.

These letters blur on me. They all sound alike. Fix this by telling a compelling story about one person whose life is better because the donor helped.

4) You’re not including a photo. People are becoming more visually oriented, and a photo helps your appeal stand out. Yet 40 of 90 letters I received were text only! Another 24 included blurry black-and-white photos, or nice color photos that added nothing to the message.

Fix this by taking striking photos of people in action throughout the year. Then you won’t have to scramble for a picture in December.

5) You’re not letting me know you appreciate what I already gave.  This, I find really shocking: 60 out of 90 letters I received–a full two-thirds–used exactly the same language to me that they would use to someone who had never given them a penny!

Fix this by segmenting your list, writing different letters to prospects, lapsed donors, and renewing donors, and acknowledging the date and amount of the previous gift.

6) You’re not personalizing your letters. It used to be a no-brainer for Executive Directors, Development Directors, or Board members who knew the donor to write a personal note on appeal letters. People, we are going in the wrong direction on this! 81 out of 90 letters arrived in my mailbox with no personal touches whatever–even when my wife and I have known the person sending the letter for many years.

Fix this by composing your appeals long enough in advance to add those personal notes…and doing so. (Kudos to the Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund, whose Director, Carol Kraemer, wrote by hand, “So grateful for your wonderful, longtime support!” You can count on a renewed gift from the Fischmans.)

7) You’re neglecting the power of the postscript. When people read letters, they look at the banner, the salutation, and the first line…and then their eyes jump to the bottom of the page. I’m happy to say that 60 of the letter-writers realized that (even if their P.S. was a bit perfunctory).

As for the 30 of you who didn’t add a postscript, you skipped doing the simplest thing you can do to increase donations! Fix this. Add a postscript unless there’s a really good reason not to.

Look for Tips on Tuesday

You may be wondering now, “What did our appeal letters look like?” Go back and check your letter. If you made even one of those seven mistakes, you probably left donation money on the table.

How do you write better fundraising letters? I can help.

Between now and Tax Day 2016, read this blog every Tuesday. You will get a no-nonsense, how-to, “do it today” tip on every aspect of your appeal letter, from the salutation to the P.S.

Some of them will be so easy you’ll kick yourself for not doing them before! Some will take a little work–but I will show you how to do them, step by step, with video when necessary.

Look for Tips on Tuesday beginning next week, January 12!

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