As I write this letter
Send my love to you…
(The Beatles, “P.S. I Love You”)
Once your donor opens the envelope, the postscript is the most important part of your appeal letter to get right–if you want the rest of the letter to be read at all!
My Favorite Postscript of 2019
I’ve been going through the appeal letters I received in the mail in the last couple of months of 2019. Here’s my favorite P.S., from a local charity, Community Cooks, run by my friend Daniele Levine:
P.S. You make it all possible! Will you give as generously as you can now, so 61,000 neighbors can sit down to a welcoming meal this year without worrying about how they’ll feed themselves or their children? Go to communitycooks.org/give or mail your gift in the enclosed envelope. Thank you!
What’s to like about this P.S. ?
- The “You” focus makes it sound personal and urgent.
- “Sit down to a welcoming meal.” That’s specific.
- “61,000 neighbors.” That’s some impact for my dollar!
- “Without worrying” draws me in and makes me feel connected to the people I’m feeding.
- “Thank you.” You can never say thanks often enough!
I do have a couple of ideas for improving this PS.
- “Thank you in advance” is a magic phrase in my book of fundraising spells, because it expresses gratitude without taking the donor off the hook. I would use that instead of just “thank you.”
- Ideally, the letter would tell the story of just one family whose whole year was saved because of meals that your donations provided. Then, the PS could harken back to that family, by name.
Ways to Use a P.S. to Increase Donations
I saw a number of different ways that nonprofit organizations wrote postscripts to their appeal letters. All of them have some value.
Say what happens when you give
You can change the course of a student’s life for the better by giving today! Your gift will provide healthy means, early education, and afterschool care to families in our community.
With your renewed support, more patients will receive compassionate, innovative, cutting-edge care when and where they need it. Thank you for making a gift today.
Please send your gift now. Help us to provide the evidence and advocacy to build a just and equitable criminal justice system.
Show the impact on a real person’s life
This year, Sophia and her 27 fellow peer leaders completed our train-the-trainer curriculum and trained 557 youth on workplace violence/ de-escalation, sexual harassment in the workplace, safety and health, and environmental hazards in schools! {Note: this would have been stronger if it focused on just Sophia]
Your last gift of $50 made such a difference. By renewing your support, you will change more lives like Rochelle’s and give a special gift to patients spending the holidays in the hospital. We can’t thank you enough.
Give something tangible to the donor
Some organizations used the P.S. to call attention to a premium they were giving me for giving: address labels, cards, a bumper sticker, a notepad. The Arthritis Foundation offered me a free pedometer. That’s on brand.
My favorite P.S. that promised me a freebie came from the Jobs With Justice Education Fund:
If you donate $85 or more, you will become eligible to receive a FREE new copy of our upcoming board game STRIKE! The Game of Worker Rebellion, to be released in March 2020, as our special thank you for elevating your support to the movement.
Now, that’s really on brand! And every time I would play the game, I’d remember that I gave (and talk about it with the friends playing the game, too!)
Give something emotional to the donor
The problem with giving things to a donor is that they may come to believe they donated just to get the thing. The more attractive the premium, the more likely they are to think their attachment is to that object–not to your mission.
Giving the donor an emotional experience makes them more likely to realize they gave because you and they share a commitment to the cause!
I’ve enclosed pictures of the Alvarez family. Take note of the beautiful photograph of Anthony, the neighbor boy who lost his parents yet found a home with this deeply hopeful family–all because Heifer supporters like you gave them a chance. Thank you. And please accept my very best wishes for a joyous holiday season.
This month, please keep your eye out for emails from myself and other Palestine refugees in the US who have benefited from UNRWA’s services and who now contribute to our broader American community as proud architects, doctors, engineers, and local leaders.
Ms. Fischman, thank you for your continued support. If you have any questions, please call our individual gifts officer, Joyce ____, on her direct line at _____________.
Stories of poverty can leave us angry, sad, and feeling powerless. But stories of overcoming poverty can inspire tremendous compassion. Please make ending poverty a reality by supporting us again today.
P.S. to This Blog Post
“Over 90 percent of readers read the PS before the letter. It is the first paragraph, not the last.” -Siegfried Vogele
Show the love to that 90 percent of readers. Make sure the postscript in your next appeal is worth reading!
And here’s a little bit more about giving something tangible to the donors. If they say, “Why are they sending me that crap?”, you’re doing it wrong. But if they say, “Wow, they really know me,” it’s a different story! https://nonprofitquarterly.org/do-donor-premiums-work-it-depends/