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TY Thursday: Say Thanks by Telling the Story

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Look how many donors are stepping up to help meet immediate needs during the Covid-19 crisis! I’m grateful. I’m sure your nonprofit is, too. But does your donor know what a difference she made?

It’s up to you tell her–and one of the best ways to say thank you is by sharing a story.

Here’s an excellent email from Bread of Life, sent to me by one of my friends in Melrose, MA. Make sure to read the paragraph in italics!

Transaction Date:  05/06/2020

Thank You!

Dear Serena,

Thank you for your online donation. This will help Bread of Life provide COVID-19 hunger relief services to neighbors in need.

We have seen a dramatic increase in the numbers of people needing our food pantry and evening meals. Up to 70% of those coming to our food pantry are new, many experiencing unemployment, waiting for unemployment checks. We also initiated a grocery delivery program to senior citizens, disabled residents and families with special needs. We are delivering to residents of Malden, Everett, Medford, Melrose, Stoneham, Reading, Wakefield, Revere, Winthrop and Chelsea.

A senior citizen called to say she had just received the groceries we delivered to her home. She seemed stressed and we wondered if something was wrong with the grocery order. She said “I’m sorry it’s difficult for me to speak. I’m just so overwhelmed by the kindness of Bread of Life and the kindness of the delivery driver. I’m so grateful, you wouldn’t believe.”

Thank you for supporting Bread of Life.. It is through the help and generosity of people like you that we are able to continue our work. Your compassionate support truly makes a difference!

Bread of Life.

If I were advising Bread of Life, I would make only two suggestions to improve this email:

  1. Use less “we” and more “you.” Not “We initiated a grocery delivery program” but “Your gift made it possible to deliver groceries to senior citizens, disabled residents,” etc.
  2. Take that touching story and move it toward the top of the email. If you read nothing else, and I am Bread of Life, I want you, the donor, to read that!
Thanking donors is strengthening relationships--and strengthening your nonprofit. Click To Tweet

Can I help your organization improve its thank-you letters and emails? Email [email protected], and let’s make a time to find out!

TY Thursday: Because of You

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My friend Joan reads this blog religiously, and she’s always on the lookout for nonprofits that are taking my advice. Here’s a thank-you email that Joan has shared with us all.

It’s not an ideal thank-you.

  • The “On behalf of” opening line is a waste of words.
  • The sentence that includes both donors and people who included the organization in their prayers shows that they don’t know which group she belongs to–they haven’t segmented their list.
  • And as Joan notes, the idea that she has made this particular nonprofit “a priority” is a sign that they don’t know her very well yet.

Four things make this TY stand out:

  1. The From: line is personal. It’s a message from a particular person, not an organization or, even worse, an auto-answering program.
  2. The photo is personal. It puts a face to the name, so Joan can picture Ralph McCloud saying the words that follow, directly to her.
  3. The salutation is personal. It says “Dear Joan,” not “Dear Friend.”
  4. The message is personal. “What a blessing you are to us” is the kind of thing one Catholic would say to another. By repeating that message in the Subject line, in the photo, and in the body of the email, Catholic Mobilizing Network emphasizes what Joan and Ralph and CMN have in common.

Over all, the message has a recurring motif: “Because of you.”

CMN is working hard to make Joan the hero of the story. In your thank-you letters and emails, are you telling your donors “because of you”?

Blessing you are to us

Dear Joan,

On behalf of Catholic Mobilizing Network’s Board of Directors, I want to say thank you.

Whether you supported CMN financially this Christmas season, or included us in your intentions and prayers, it is because of you that CMN is able to thrive in its mission to end the death penalty and promote restorative justice.

What a blessing you are to us.

We live in a time where it seems like human dignity is under attack on many fronts. As a community of believers, we are called to respond with justice and mercy. But this can be a challenging commission, especially when our time, energy, and financial capacity are all stretched thin.

I know there are a lot of worthy causes out there; that is why I am grateful that you have made CMN a priority in your end-of-year giving.

Your support of CMN affirms your bold commitment to upholding the human dignity of all people — including even those who might have caused or suffered great harm.

Because of you, CMN is able to pursue a criminal legal system that values life, hope, and healing. And for that, I am deeply grateful.

Thank you,

Ralph McCloud, Treasurer
CMN Board of Directors

Fundraising Tuesday: Ask My Name

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Hello my name is what?People’s names matter. Donors’ names matter to them. So, their names should matter to you too–especially when you are asking them for money!

But how do you know what to call them? Last week, I suggested that the simplest and most effective way to get the names right is just to ask.

You could ask online donors immediately, on the post-donation page of your website that thanks them for their donations.

You could also ask them when you call them to thank them for their donations. Or in a donor survey.

Keshet, the organization for LGBTQ equality in Jewish life, found another good way to ask which names to use. They checked how my wife and I would like to be listed in their annual report. Here’s the email:

Action Requested: How should we list you in our Annual Report?

Keshet banner

 

Dear Rona,

Thank you for being a supporter of our work for LGBTQ equality in Jewish life. In the next few months, we will be sharing Keshet’s 2019 Annual Report.

As a valued and appreciated donor, your name(s) will be listed in our Annual Report and will appear as: Dennis and Rona Fischman.

If you would like to request an edit or correction in how your name is listed, please click here.

L’Shalom,

James Cohen

Chief Development and Communications Officer

 

Pronouns: he/him/his

Notice how many things Keshet did right!

  1. The subject line told the donors why we should open the message–why it mattered to us.
  2. The name in the salutation matched the name in the email address.
  3. The closing was in Hebrew (“for peace”), affirming the Jewish connection.
  4. The signature included the name of a real person plus preferred pronouns–useful for all, but particularly important to the LGBTQ+ community.

Most important, however, was that Keshet asked what we wanted to be called. They saw the way the names were listed on the check we’d sent them, but they didn’t assume that was exactly how we wanted our names to appear.

They asked. You should too.

Because donors’ names matter to them. So, their names should matter to you too–especially when you are asking them for money!

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